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Outlining: Summer Camp

Remember:

A thesis or a topic sentence must sound more like a conclusion than like an introduction.
A topic sentence must set up one logical sub-division of the thesis.
The topic sentences must be organized around one basis of sub-division. They should not overlap.
Following are four choices for the thesis sentence for a theme about summer camp. Pick the best choice. The other three are poor thesis sentences.

1. Summer camp was boring, dull, and the counselors watched over us like jailers.
2. Six years ago I attended an eight week summer camp for the very first time.
3. Although I considered summer camp to be a complete waste, some of the campers actually enjoyed it.
4. Summer camp was not the enriching experience that the brochures promised.

Following are four choices for the topic sentence of the first paragraph of development. Pick the best choice. The other three are poor topic sentences or do not fit the pattern.

1. Neglectful counselors, poorly planned activities, and crude facilities made summer camp a complete and total waste of time and an unpleasant experience.
2. Let me begin by telling you about the counselors.
3. The counselors cared more about their summer of fun than about the campers.
4. The first reason was the counselors.

Following are four choices for the topic sentence of the second paragraph of development. Pick the best choice. The other three are poor topic sentences or do not fit the pattern.

1. The bunk bed I slept in was hard as a rock.
2. The facilities were crude.
3. Being in that camp for eight weeks was a total waste.
4. The facilities were run down and the activities were poorly supervised.

Following are four choices for the topic sentence of the third paragraph of development (the last middle paragraph not the concluding paragraph). Pick the best choice. The other three are poor-topic sentences or do not fit the pattern.

1. The daily activities and special events were poorly managed.
2. After my unhappy summer, I will never go back there again.
3. The big event of the summer, a war game of Capture the Flag, was one long afternoon of agony and misery.
4. Worst of all, the weather was crummy all summer long.

Answers

Following are four choices for the thesis sentence for a theme about summer camp. Pick the best choice. The other three are poor thesis sentences.

1. Summer camp was boring, dull, and the counselors watched over us like jailers. One opinion must unify the entire paper. What is the distinction between boring and dull?
2. Six years ago I attended an eight week summer camp for the very first time. This simply presents a topic to tell about with no opinion telling readers the point.
3. Although I considered summer camp to be a complete waste, some of the campers actually enjoyed it. This could be a thesis if the order were reversed, emphasizing waste. The opinion about some campers enjoying camp would be introductory contrasting information.
4. Summer camp was not the enriching experience that the brochures promised.

Following are four choices for the topic sentence of the first paragraph of development. Pick the best choice. The other three are poor topic sentences or do not fit the pattern.

1. Neglectful counselors, poorly planned activities, and crude facilities made summer camp an unpleasant experience. This would be a fine thesis sentence with a summary of the organization, but each topic sentence should offer only one conclusion.
2. Let me begin by telling you about the counselors. This simply presents a topic to tell about with no opinion reminding readers of the thesis.
3. The counselors cared more about their summer of fun than about the campers.
4. The first reason was the counselors. This should specify the specific complaint about the counselors’ performance.

Following are four choices for the topic sentence of the second paragraph of development. Pick the best choice. The other three are poor topic sentences or do not fit the pattern.

1. The bunk bed I slept in was hard as a rock. A short paper cannot spend an entire paragraph complaining about a bunk bed.
2. The facilities were crude.
3. Being in that camp for eight weeks was a total waste. A topic sentence cannot repeat the thesis.
4. The facilities were run down and the activities were poorly supervised. Each topic sentence should offer one conclusion, not two.

Following are four choices for the topic sentence of the third paragraph of development (the last middle paragraph not the concluding paragraph). Pick the best choice. The other three are poor-topic sentences or do not fit the pattern.

1. The daily activities and special events were poorly managed. This is the paragraph about events and naming the two types of events is helpful. If this paragraph gets too long, it could be broken up into a paragraph for daily events and a paragraph for special events.
2. After my unhappy summer, I will never go back there again. The closing paragraph comes next. This paragraph should support another complaint about the camp.
3. The big event of the summer, a war game of Capture the Flag, was one long afternoon of agony and misery. This does not allow us any room or obligation to complain about daily events or any other special events. It is too specific.
4. Worst of all, the weather was crummy all summer long. True, this helped spoil the summer, but bad weather was not the camp’s fault, and it was not part of the enriching experience the brochures promised.

Last updated 01/25/2007